A Happy New Years, and Some Ranting

Let me tell you, nothing beats spending a New Years in Buffalo. Nothing. And by nothing, I mean everything. Last year it was the Worst Party of All-Time, wherein we left a douchebag in charge of procuring the alcohol and, in turn, ended up with something like four bottles of alcohol for about 15 people. Now, I thought that would've been a pretty tough New Years to topple as far as ass-sucking goes, but this year we managed to find a way to beat it. Our first plan? Take a road trip to Indy where one of our friends has a friend who's having a party. Not surprisingly, this one falls through because no one is either willing or able to drive. Plan B - one of our friends is having a beer pong tournament and then a party afterwards, certainly not a bad second option. Except for the part where that doesn't happen either, due to something parent-related (god I love being back home, where no one has a house where we can drink at). Well, the beer pong "tournament" (see: the exact same people we always have playing beer pong) does happen, but we have nowhere to go afterwards. In comes Plan C - using Murdock's brother to get three of us into some club downtown. Murdock says he can't do it, but we, being the geniuses that we are, figure hey, if we show up, he's got to let us in. Except for the part where he's not even there when we get there. Now we're all the way to plan D - showing up at the ECC All-Star (see: Clarence scumbags) party and kicking it with a bunch of people I definitely could have gone the rest of my life without seeing again. I think the party can most justly be described as spectacularly mediocre. And thus concluded the Worst. New Years. Ever. For the record, I think I spent all of four and a half minutes mildly buzzed, thus setting some sort of personal record for New Years sobriety.

In other news, the Texas Longhorns won the Rose Bowl, thus netting me a cool fifteen bones. No complaints there. Not to mention it was the single greatest college football game I have ever seen, thanks to Vince Young's heroics. What a beast. You'd be hard-pressed to find an individual performance in a big game better than what Vince brought on Thursday. As someone who's had a soft spot for the 'Horns since His Holiness Lord Major Applewhite was under center, I was as thrilled as one can possibly be for a team whose school you don't actually attend. And Matt Leinart can go eat a dick, the fucking douchebag. "We're still the better team, they just made plays at the end". In invoking one of the most tired sore loser cliches of all time, Leinart was making a fool of himself. Uhh, hey buddy, the best team makes the damn plays, you fucking tool. 2006 NFL Draft-eligible quarterbacks who will have better careers: Vince Young, Omar Jacobs, Jay Cutler, Brodie Croyle, Jared Zabransky, Paul Pinegar, Brett Basanez, Insert Non-Tool Junior or Senior QB Here (I really liked his performance in the NortheasternIdahoGardenersAssociation.com Tulip Bowl).

Lastly, allow me regale you with the thoroughly interesting goings-on of my night. First, I got suckered into dinner and a movie with an aunt of mine that I see all of twice a year. She's well-intentioned, to be sure, but good intentions do not an enjoyable evening make. Dinner was innocuous enough, with the ensuing generic, already-been-done-about-643-freakin-times-with-every-other-freakin-family-member conversation about school and such. The movie, however, is when the real fun started. We had intended on going to see Munich, which probably would have been tolerable enough. That would have just been too easy though. See, my aunt had looked at last week's movie times, and accordingly, had the wrong time for the movie. So, en lieu of waiting an hour and a half for that movie, we decide to pick another one. I don't see movies, ever, so I really don't give a shit at this point. Aunt says she wants to see Casanova and I go along with it. Baaaaad move. What a piss awful movie. But, as if, having to sit through that awful tripe wasn't enough, I was fortunate enough to endure a lecture on the evils of sexual promiscuity afterwards! That's right, an aunt I almost never see felt this an appropriate and opportune moment to caution me against the base licentiousness of "free love" (her term, not mine). Needless to say, I did not see that one coming, so I sat stunned, nodding along politely. And so ends an extensively entertaining night with the aunt. It's pretty sad when going to a friend's house and watching Golden Girls is the highlight of your Friday night. Oh, how I heart being home in Clarence so.

Down on the boulevard, they take it hard.